got milk?

uhm... i dont.

and im pissed.

i would say about 6 months ago, i noticed that i got stomach aches every time i would go over to jeff's parent's house. i figured it was because i was tense trying not to say something stupid or spill, like i did the first time i was over there (classic caitlin... pppfffff). and then i started to notice it would happen after eating pizza too, and ice cream. and i would say "owwww, my stomach hurts, i feel yucky". but i would never connect the dots.

then i figured it out. jeff's parents always serve the most glorious of gloriousness... BRIE. im french, i freakin love it. i eat it every time. so i tried avoiding it one time, and i felt muuuuch better! i was figuring it out! then his lovely mother made this amaaaaazing strawberry shortcake with homemade... whipped CREAM. so good. sooooo painful. sooo upset.

i lived in denial for a while. "oh noooo, its just whole milk, not non-fat!" well, let me tell you, i have a iced grande nonfat vanilla latte each morning after memorial day (before that is not iced... very particular), and it didn't feel very good, but i kept telling myself it was something i ate, that i slept on my...intestines... wrong... yep.

so now i live in a dairy-free hell. no more nonfat lattes, i had to have the vancouver starbucks girls talk me down off the ROOF because i had to figure out how to order a coffee with SOY milk. SOY. it makes it too sweet, it has a different texture, and it has a funny aftertaste. not pleased.

i go to my niece's birthday party. they served pizza, because thats what little kids love. well, i love it too. but no pizza for me. oh, and the cake? yeah, none of that! jeff had to pick out a sliver of cake that did not touch any frosting. sad sad sad.

then my principal offered to buy us pizza today. FREE pizza. and noooo i cant eat that. thats all i WANT to eat. because i CANT.

hello there free bag of m&ms... yeah i ate you, thinking i would be fine. nope. doubled over with pain. you suck, free bag of m&ms.

so now i am high maintenance, and i HATE being high maintenance. i have to decline when nice people offer me dairy-ridden things, and then i have to explain my rudeness. i cant eat BRIE. i cant eat MILK CHOCOLATE, or, most importantly, my favorite, WHITE CHOCOLATE, the most milk-ridden one of allllllll. i live in pizza-lacking, soy latte hell.

and here is where i would typically end in some high-spirit, "the sun will come out tomorrow" way... psh. i just miss my nonfat lattes.