lent, especially ash wednesday is a time to ask for forgiveness for things that we have done wrong and to reflect on how we can better ourselves. i attended mass that day and this is what our priest told us. however, on that very same day, i was verbally attacked by the biggest, most "religious" hypocrite i have ever encountered.
it all started at lunch. we as a class had had our valentines/ mardi gras/ good job on the hot chocolate sale party on tuesday, so there was a ton of candy left over. one student had kindly gotten me a bag of hershey's kisses with a cute heart-shaped bowl. i certainly couldn't eat them all, so during lunch on wednesday, i poured said chocolate into the bowl and offered it to anyone who had not given up sweets for lent. students began lining up to get a piece, but i immediately thought of one of my students who has several food allergies. in order for her not to feel left out, i fished out a starburst out of a bag of candy and handed it to her. whether she ate it or not, at the time i wasn't sure. but ohhhh i found out later.
after coming out of a meeting after school, i looked at my box to see a message for me to call a parent as soon as i was out of the meeting. this parent and i have no previous issues- in fact, when the student was struggling, we made a great game plan to help her through it. i called the parent and cheerfully greeted her when she answered the phone, unaware of the reason for her call. the first 30 seconds were like this:
"sjflsdkjljreoijwoermw GIVE HER CANDY!?!?!?"
"what??? i'm sorry, i can't understand you."
"dlsjfoeijfokdsnlfknsd GIVE HER CANDY?!?!" (she is, quite literally, screaming)
"slow down, i really don't know what you are saying"
" did you give my child candy on ash wednesday?!"
from there, i was screamed at because apparently in the eyes of the church 14 is considered an adult (false), and that she was supposed to fast (false), and that i apparently forced that candy down that child's throat, and i should be ashamed, and what kind of catholic school teacher was i, that i had made her child feel like a failure, and that i didn't know a thing about the catholic faith, and that i was a horrible example.
this woman screamed at me so loud, people 30 feet away could hear her.
i was literally shaking when she was done NOT letting me speak and she hung up on me. i will admit, i was crying by the end of the conversation. with the ashes still on my forehead from ash wednesday, i went to my boss and relayed the message that was screamed at me, the message that insulted every value i hold. i then proceeded to go to my classroom and sob, and then sob the whole way home.
before i got in my car, however, the school secretary stopped me. rarely one for warm and fuzzy moments, she stopped me and gave me a hug. "what happened?" she asked. "i just dont like being called a bad catholic." her response was so poignant. "well thats not very catholic of her, is it?" so. incredibly. true.
being a horrible catholic doesn't mean giving a kid candy when the kid is fasting and you had no idea. being a horrible catholic is as easy as screaming at another catholic and insulting their knowledge on their faith and how they do they job they love so much. being a horrible catholic means telling other people how to be a better catholic when you are being the worst example of one. being a horrible catholic means that on ash wednesday, the day of forgiveness and repenting, you make another person feel like crap.
have i let it go yet? yes and no. i have accepted that she will not apologize for the way she spoke to me (her response email clearly stated that), and that i cannot change the fact that she is in no way helping her child by making her the victim. however, i will never accept the way she spoke to me, berated me, insulted me. i can accept that she is a bitter person. i can definitely accept that.
happy lent!
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