profile of a woman i hardly knew

*** this was edited to protect the subject***


so i had a babysitter a lot when i was little. my mom worked long shifts, so we would stay at this woman karen's house. karen took care of us during the school year, and would send us off on the bus (her daughter and i were in the same class), and we would spend hot summer days watching her ceiling fan spin, waiting for the sun to go down so we could play double dragon in the side lot (i was always the girl in distress).

karen had three kids: jennifer, brian, and stephanie. jennifer was older, in high school, and was often out with friends, so i didnt see her much. brian was in middle school, and he would play with us sometimes, but he would typically bully or tease instead. stephanie was my age. she was in brownies with me; we made an apple pie together to get a badge. she had a mean streak as a little kid, from what i remember, but then again i was sensitive, so who knows.

karen also had a husband. a mean, loud husband. he was obsessed with the raiders and would drive the hour and a half to LA just to see them play. he was hardly around when i was there, which was a lot, so i can assume he was hardly around at all. one time i ate 3 packages of ketchup just because i liked it so much, and someone told me that can make me sick, so being the hypochondriac i am... i became sick. i remember him yelling at me "DONT THROW UP ON MY COUCH." i didn't, just for the record.

i was at karens when my mom was in her accident. she hid in her room because she couldnt face me. jennifer sat in there with her, brian went in and checked on her every once in a while, and would give me a look that i wont ever forget. all day. stephanie was ordered to play with me. she grew tired of it, but did as her mom told her. i never saw her again after i moved.


i recently found my best friend from when i was 2 until i was 7 on facebook. i thought, hmmm, what about karen? would she be on here? i looked... there are LOTS of karen w's. lots of stephanie w's and jennifer w's and brian w's. so i googled instead, and this is what i found:

Brian W, 23

LAKE ELSINORE -- Brian Jonathon W, 23, died Saturday, Feb. 28, 2004.

Born Aug. 12, 1980, in Fallbrook, he lived in Lake Elsinore for 22 years. He worked at Southwest Traders in Temecula for three years. He enjoyed snowboarding and wakeboarding, motorcycle riding, fishing, hiking and other outdoor activities.

Mr. W is survived by his father, Richard W of Orange; mother, Karen W of Lake Elsinore; wife, Ivory of Wildomar; sons Austin W and Parker W, both of Wildomar; sisters Jennifer W of Seattle and Stephanie W of Lake Elsinore; and grandfather, Paul W of Auburn, Ga.

A memorial service is scheduled for 10 a.m. Thursday, March 4, at Murrieta United Methodist Church.

Valley Funeral Home is handling arrangements.


i sat there in disbelief. i suddenly wanted to reach out to karen even more. 23?! left two kids behind? how utterly unfair.
i started to furiously try and find out how he died, what happened, and i found this:

Jennifer Lynn W, 30

Jennifer Lynn W died peacefully, surrounded by family and friends, on October 6, 2006 in Seattle, Washington, after a courageous two-year battle with lymphoma.

Jenn was born July 17, 1976, in Santa Ana, California. She is a 1994 graduate of Lake Elsinore High School and a 1998 graduate of the University of Puget Sound. She remained in the Pacific Northwest after college and spent the last seven years working at the Pacific Science Center in Seattle. Jenn loved to travel, was a gifted self-taught carpenter and an adventurous, loving soul.

She is survived by her mother, Karen W; her father Rick W; her sister Stephanie; her maternal grandmother Eileen Young; her maternal great-grandmother Audrey Young; her paternal grandparents Paul and Helen W, all of California; many aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, and her committed partner Brad Kleven of Seattle, WA. She is preceded in death by her brother, Brian.



i couldnt believe it. this woman who took care of me for years, who i cant say i knew because i was so little, but this woman lost 2 of her 3 children. within 2 years. all of this after, according to my family sources, her husband leaves her. this family that became the background noise of my childhood has obituaries and tragedies and horrible, horrible misfortune.

i still havent found out how to contact karen. i would really like to, for the mere fact that she was there during my great tragedy. the least i could do is recognize hers.